"You're Bossy"

When I was 9 years old, a group of my friends turned against me because I was “bossy”. I felt beat down and learned it’s better to not say anything than to say the wrong thing. Obviously I was 9, I probably was pretty rude to my friends without realizing it, and after time I forgave them for turning on me.

I grew up and learned I should not be bossy, bossy = bad, that boys don’t like bossy, girls won’t be friends with bossy, and it’s just the worst thing ever. Then I saw a video of Beyoncé and other famous women saying “I’m not bossy, I am the boss”. Mind blown. Maybe when I was a kid, I was over the top. I made my friends feel small and I didn’t listen to their ideas. But I shouldn’t have been squashed for being bossy, I should have been taught how to use it.

I suppose learning how to use it came almost subconsciously. In a psychology appointment, I was explaining a series of events that made me, me. That was one of them. Probably a bigger one than I give it credit for. Anyway, my psychologist said, “how funny is it that you were bullied for being bossy as a kid, now you’re studying business management”. Somehow I went back to my roots anyway. I loved that. The little kid in me did a happy dance. I wasn’t a bad kid, I was a kid that knew what she wanted and how to get there. But maybe said it in the wrong way.

I’ve noticed I still had a barrier up with the whole “bossy” thing. I have problems with conflict, confrontation, and reaching my full potential. I have wanted to start a business for so long. I have been so afraid of being my own boss. I’ve been running from anything bossy in my life. My friend and mentor Kendall said that if I want to start a business, I kind of just have to start. So HELLO. I am starting. What is it? I don’t know. But I’m starting.